GRATITUDE vs JUST BE GRATEFUL

Be grateful for what you have!

Don’t tempt fate….

You have everything you need, don’t you?

What more could you possibly want?

Aren’t you happy with all that you have?

You’re just being greedy & selfish!

You’re acting like a spoilt brat!

Are you having a mid life crisis or something?

Have you heard any of these before? Maybe you’ve had people who are the closest to you in your life - your parents, your partner, your friends, say some of these things to you. Boy it can sting. They can leave you feeling totally ashamed and guilty.

But here’s the thing. This is what YOU actually think of YOURSELF. They are  just mirroring back to you what you are thinking and feeling. Most of the time, this diatribe is the verbal diarrhoea that doing on in your own head.

Women have been so conditioned to just shut up and be grateful. We are conditioned to be thankful for crumbs and we are told that wanting more is improper.

And that’s when we get stuck. We stop listening to our inner knowing and our desire for something bigger and we shrink ourselves to fit in. To be the “good girl”. To just be happy with our lot.

We ignore the voice inside of us that is screaming at us to do something else. Something more. Something CRAZY! Something we’ve never done before. And so we stay stuck. We stay in the “I don’t know’s” because it’s a hell of a lot safer than naming and claiming what we want.

And some people genuinely don’t know what they want to do. Or be. Or have. And not having the specifics of what that “thing” is can be a way out. A way of not dealing with it. For many, the pain of staying where they are and pushing down the yearning is less scary than actually working through their feelings and discovering who they are and what they want.

But my friend, I’m here to tell you that “less scary” is not a what we want out of life is it? Safe, comfortable, secure, sure, stable. These aren’t adjectives we want to be living! We want fun, adventure, challenge, learning, growing, ALIVE. I know I do. And I’m assuming you do too.

So the first thing we need to do is to talk about this conflict between gratitude and just be grateful for what you have.

Being in gratitude is beautiful. It’s been proven time and again that having and attitude of gratitude puts you in a state and vibration that attracts more of what you want into your life.

When speaking at Skidmore College in 2017, Oprah Winfrey talked to the graduating class about how gratitude can help with finding success in work and life.

"I practice being grateful," Winfrey said. "And a lot of people say, 'Oh Oprah, that's easy for you 'cause you got everything!’ On the contrary, Winfrey argued: "I got everything because I practiced being grateful."

It is without doubt one of the most important practices.

Therefore it can be quite challenging for people to vocally and outwardly say they want more. It can incredibly challenging for someone to say that they aren’t 100% content with the way their life is going, especially when life is GOOD! It can be incredibly hard for someone to say they don’t feel aligned with their current job or business, especially if they like their job or their business is successful.

But when you know, you know and it’s really hard to pretend that everything is ok when you have inner turmoil.

And anyway, the Universe will kick you upside the head in some way to get your attention if you don’t take the steps you need to take.

For me it was hello redundancy. I was never going to move from a job of 12 years that I like (kinda), that paid well and felt comfortable. The Big U knew I wasn’t going to take the leap. I had kids, a mortgage and responsibilities. I was raised to do the right thing. So out of literally nowhere, I was let go. Done. Over. The Universe can be as subtle as a freight train sometimes!

So I was literally thrown into a transition.

But one very important lesson I’ve learned along the way is that life is happening FOR you not TO you. It’s easy to get caught in the “whoa is me” mentality. But when you can step back and see that most things in life happen for you, it’s much easier to handle the curveballs life throws at you.

So settling for what you have because it’s not total crap is SO yesterday!

I want more. I WANT MORE!

I want to experience life to the fullest. I want to be rich. Not just enough to pay the bills, with maybe some left over to have a manicure once a month! NO! I want to be rich. Yes I do. I want to travel the world. Business class or better. I want to feel the excitement of running a business and company that serves me, my family and our clients and customers. I want to feel totally and completely congruent with the work I do every day. I want to have well adjusted kids who can see the power of what it means to want more.

Because let’s be real.

The more money you make, the more people you can help.

The more aligned you are with what you do, the more you can show up fully and contribute in the best possible way.

The more fun you have, the more vibrancy you share with the world and people around you.

The more connected you are to your children, the more potential there is for them to carry that legacy into their future.

The more YOU you are, the happier you will be.

And you will be so grateful for everything in your life because you created it rather than just being happy with what was handed to you.